Why I hate spam

A lot has been said about spam. For example, it's unique in that the end recipient will have to pay for it. The extra work that is caused the Internet Service Provider to block spam and monitor its users is ultimately passed onto Mr and Ms Consumer. I don't want here to talk about what spam isn't and is in terms of the world; I want to show how it applies to Annwn.

Spam annoys the heck out of me because chasing it and tracking down the headers (which are forged) is a pain in the bottie. But I do it anyway, because maybe I'll get an I.S.P. to up its security or get some of these annoying, illegal, insidious little people into trouble. And, on occasion, I have.

I hate it because it's an invasion of privacy, a theft of services I pay for, and a total waste of time. I won't "just delete" it because there are people out there, behind the scenes, who spend hours blocking the spam that goes to usenet newsgroups and if they can do that, unpaid and mostly unsung, I can weave the Web with my own contribution, too. Besides, if I do it right, the correct people will get into trouble. Spammer-hunting is a pastime I'd rather do without - you know, I'd rather be writing an article or scanning photos or finding good links during my online time. But it's there, and I can continue to do a little bit of service to my online world by fighting.

I hate spam because I get hundreds of emails a month and I'd rather just get ones from people I want to hear from. I was recently targeted by a perl programmer; he'd seen I had a Web site with scripts and thought that meant I wanted to pay him to write me some scripts. Really? I'm married to a brilliant perl programmer, who can write me all the scripts I can't already find in the free archives.

Even if the product is of interest, is well-targeted, the spammer is on a loser: I also object to the common and privacy-invading practice of someone getting my I.P. address from the logs of the site I visted of my free will and using that to send junk mail, too. You won't get that sort of nonsense from Annwn, I promise you.

And then there are the non-targeted ones offering me scams, get rich quick schemes, and sickening child pornography. None of which interest me. Send me feedback, comments, Annwn game entries. That's the mail I want to see.

I do a lot of shopping for info and services on the Web, but if I didn't make the first move, I won't be buying that unsolicited product.

Unintentional spam

I find myself, as I get to know more people online, being put on joke and Internet goodie lists that I didn't ask to be. I'm sent chain letters, as are all that particular person's friends. This in itself is a breach of Netiquette. The only person who has ever been on an Annwn list without wanting to be was there because of a language misunderstanding and when I eventually got out my Spanish dictionary to decipher what she was saying, she was removed forthwith with a pigeon Spanish apology.

I've heard all the good jokes. I've been online over five years. I want to hear from individuals, not lists. When I wanted new jokes, I was on my friend Coveman's funnies list: he used to find the best ones and I chose to be there. And I don't want chain letters. I don't see why they are fun, or cute, or anything more than annoying or offensive.

One trick is to think of the email address as a telephone number. You wouldn't pass on a private phone number without checking if it were okay; an email address should be treated just the same. I wish that my dear well-meaning friends would read this and understand that, while it sounds churlish for me to ask to be removed from these periodic mailings, I'd rather not be on them and have very good reasons for it. (You know, like an 18-megabyte bursting-at-the-seams mailbox and a 97% full hard drive and nowhere near enough time to sort everything out as I would like to.)

Chain mail

Why people seem to automatically believe everything that they see online is less of a mystery to me than an irritation. I was there once, too. But please stop and think a minute. If you get a mail asking you to send a card to cheer up a dying child, think about what might be behind it. Someone might have a gripe with another person and post this to get even with them. It's happened. Imagine the psychological effect it would have on someone to get thousands of postcards from strangers wishing them well before they died. Not to mention the vast waste of postal and Earth resources...

But do you know the ones I hate the most? The ones where you are given a cutesie story and asked to make a wish and scroll down. Then you are instructed to send it to a certain number of people, and all manner of wonderful things will happen. But if you don't send it to anyone, you will get bad luck, bad love life, things will go wrong. I truly despise these. Why? Because they are billed as harmless and they are nasty. I received two of these at a time when I had lost my home, was sick with jaundice, effectively penniless, unemployed. Really cheered me up to think that someone had well-meaningly sent me this conditional good luck junk while failing totally to think about what effect it might have. Quite aside from being a nuisance.

So please, next time you think of spam, think of basic Netiquette as well. Don't add your friends to lists unless you ask them first. And point out this article to your friends. Not everyone agrees with me, but they might see that I've got a point.