Immigration: The Saga of the Drivers' Licence - How A Piece of Plastic Acquires Significance

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The Saga of the Drivers' Licence
How A Piece Of Plastic Acquires Significance

Do it right away

Once you have your social security number, you can and should apply for your drivers' licence or, at the very least, a state ID card. Do it early The first six months or so of your USA life could be difficult otherwise, since most banks look down their noses as alternative forms of ID (okay, so a passport works) and it's hard to get a shop to take a cheque if you don't have a recognisable ID (which they usually take to mean a state ID.) In other words, expect to either pay by cash or credit all the time (if anyone asks for ID with a credit card tell them to shove it, it's not acceptable!) until you have that little piece of plastic in your wallet. It's not impossible, but you have to get used to asking for a supervisor or arguing. That gets boring very quickly.

Let me explain. An ID card is just that - something with your photo on it that says you're a legitimate human being. (Ha Ha.) And a drivers licence is just the same thing, but allows you to drive. If you don't wanna drive, grab your ID. For American citizens, the process takes about two weeks. I'm not sure what the status is for legal permanent residents (Green Card holders), but since that can take two or more years, you're gonna be hit by the Dodgy Immigrant Rule.

Not only are you supposed to get one, you need one, or at least some form of ID. When I first failed my written test, I applied for my ID card. That was a while before the drivers' licence application...

Dodgy Immigrant Rule

Some wondrous politician, in his or her wisdom, decided to introduce a bill that would require the DMV, Department of Motor Vehicles, to check all (non-permanent?) applications with the already overloaded Immigration and Naturalization Service. Great! Two of America's biggest beaurocracies, forced to play ball together at our expense. No doubt this was supposed to prevent something fraudulent, but the net result is it's stupid and annoying.

When you apply for your drivers licence, you first have to take the multi-choice tests and get a permit. I failed on my first attempt, and tried again many months later and passed. I then took the Motorcycle Safety Federation course and passed that, so I got my little proof slip and brought it in and was able to convert my permit (which restricts you from night riding and motorway driving etc) into a real licence. Hint: visit the DMV in the midafternoon, or make an appointment, unless you like standing in long queues for ages being harrassed by small children with skipping ropes (don't ask).

So, in December 1998, I became the proud owner of a piece of white paper that wouldn't serve as ID, the name of which is a Temporary 90-Day Licence. They took a picture of my grinning mug and printed my thumb using their electronic widget. I went home. I waited.

90 or so days later my bit of plastic hadn't arrived, so I called, and got Surprise Number One. That was the information that my application had been sent to the INS for verification, to see if I was a Genuine Alien as opposed to a Dodgy (Illegal) Alien. How long? I asked. Up to six months I was told. Bah! I went back into the DMV and had them extend it for another 90 days. Still ID-less.

The plastic card came, about a month later (four months after applying). I jumped up and down with glee. Yes, I really did that! It was then that I got Surprise Number Two. It was set to expire in October 1999. Huh?! California licences are supposed to be for four years. I went in and asked what was with that. Turns out that, as my only proof of legal residence was my annually renewable work card, my drivers licence expired with the work card. Yark!

Okay, okay, I thought. I dealt with it. Then October swung around, and no green card (I'd been in America two years)... so I went to renew my work card (easy process) and then my drivers licence. Meanwhile, the first thing I bought by cheque using my New Drivers Licence was some cat food for JR and Gracie.

Incidentally, the ID card, for which I'd applied before the drivers licence, arrived after it.

This time, there were problems because I had a motorcycle-only licence. They couldn't figure out how on earth to renew my licence without a car licence class (Class C) on it. They muttered something about retaking the test at which I grumbled a lot. I waited an hour. Eventually a competent and kind supervisor showed up, eased the tension by joking it off, and got me renewed. I got another pretty piece of white paper.

And you know what? They sent my application to the INS again. Can you imagine? For up to six months of every year of your one-year drivers licence... it could be getting verified at the INS!!!

I sure hope you're laughing! I sure hope you get that application in now!

Ah, but it all works out in the end

As it turned out, I received my Green Card appointment before I got my second year's worth of drivers licence. In fact, I got my Green Card before I got the final product... I'll write about that in another story.

But when it did finally arrive, it was set to expire in 2002 - meaning that the message about my Legal Permanent Residency had at least got through and I wasn't going to have to re-re-re-renew it after October 2000, the expiration date of my work card.

So, wanna hear something really funny? Both our bikes are off the road. I've barely been able to use my licence for driving. We can't afford to fix 'em so we just get to look wistfully at other riders on the road. But at least I can pay for stuff by cheque... ;-)

And that, dear reader, is how a perfectly ordinary piece of credit-card sized plastic acquired great significance in my eyes. I do not plan on losing it ;-)

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The Saga of the Drivers' Licence
How A Piece of Plastic Acquired Significance

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